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Business Motivation

Radical Change and Nerves of Steel

By | Business Motivation, Leadership, Uncategorized | No Comments

In Spring 2014, I had a numerology reading with the very gifted Peter Vaughan.

One thing really stood out. He said “By the end of 2015, your business is going to be very different than it is now.”

I wanted to understand what that meant RIGHT THEN AND THERE. Hearing “your business is going to be very different than it is now” could mean I’m making more (or less) money, could mean I’m working with a different clientele, could mean I’m panhandling, could mean SO MANY THINGS! Not knowing what it meant drove me crazy… but I kept following each indicated step. I vowed to trust the process.

Trusting the process is wonderful when viewed through the rearview mirror. However, when in the middle of it, it freakin sucks.

It puts you face to face with all your shit: inner fears shit, core wounds shit, money shit, parenting shit, relationship shit, car breaking down shit, ex-husband shit, adrenal exhaustion shit, perimenopausal shit, family shit, colleague shit, client shit, and all forms of miscellaneous shit.

Dammit, why does it have to be so complicated!

So many things changed in this time… unplanned but following God’s plan: a complete revamp of my business, creation and destruction, birthing and ending.

But as I take inventory today, I see that a lot of good shit happened too! The rearview mirror is looking quite nice:

1. I met The One and fulfilled the prophecy of finding true love when I’m 50.  We now share a beautiful home and each day I’m filled with smiles, hugs, and love. Being happy and loved is good for my business and my creativity.

2. I attracted amazing clients: Powerful leaders, 7 figure entrepreneurs, visionary changemakers who saw their strengths in a whole new way. Together we built a plan for them to lead and grow from their genius, communicate their genius, create a legacy, and make a global impact.

3. Developed a podcast (coming soon!) with the amazing help of Doug Foresta! LESSONS FOR THE LEADING EDGE. Which brings me to my next item…

4. Owning MY GENIUS as a guide for visionary leaders and innovators. Boldly integrating LEADERSHIP as an area of expertise. it’s always been there, it’s just now spelled out. Finally!

5. GETTING MY BOOK DONE! The Genius Finder is in the works. OMG did that take only a decade to start or what????

6. Laying out the framework for an INSTITUTE for leading edge entrepreneurs and their organizations. Book and podcast to support this. (message me if you’d like to know about the next training).

Trusting the process… more doors yet to open, more discoveries yet to be made. Step by step.

Kill ‘Em With Kindness

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My mother was a nurse for over 50 years. From the perspective of the patients she cared for, she could be either angel or tormentor, depending on their pain tolerance or mental state.

It wasn’t easy work. Some nights she’d come home so mentally exhausted, all she could do was cook up a batch of popcorn at midnight and watch Johnny Carson, then Tom Snyder, then go to bed well after the TV stations went off the air for the night.

Patients would demand things from her that she was unable to provide like increased doses of medication or for the doctor to come to the hospital in that instant. They’d get testy and angry with her for a policy she was powerless to change.

I asked her how she managed through all that.

“I kill them with kindness” was her standard response.

Jokingly, I created a signature line for her email account and put “Author of the upcoming book ‘Kill ‘Em With Kindness'” and people actually thought she was writing it. That made her chuckle, then she’d explain that her creative daughter was always thinking of crazy things to write.

Her kind nature changed situations from turbulent to calm and it transformed difficult people into calmer, more understanding souls. Because she worked and lived in the same town, it was a common occurrence to bump into former patients at the post office, grocery shopping, at the gas station, or walking through a shopping center.

She’d whisper in my ear, “I took care of that guy in the hospital.”

Then I’d look at her. “And?” I’d ask.

“Once I killed him with kindness, he was tolerable.”

We smiled and went on our way.

Nice

My mother’s mantra of kindness won her many fans. She was constantly receiving cards, flowers, chocolates, quilts, cookies and handmade gifts from the families of patients she cared for. The notes would always speak of her patience, dedication and most of all her kindness.

I like to think that her bedside manner was a big part in her patients’ recovery, and a part of the legacy she left behind.

One day, she told me her secret.

“When you look at someone, imagine they have a sign on their forehead that says ‘I’m important!’, and treat them that way.”

She made me laugh when she shared such simplistic advice, because at that time in my life I was looking for complicated solutions to understanding the deep meaning of everything.

As I grew older, and especially after I started my business, I found myself relying on her advice. I noticed how I felt when I’d go to business events and people would look past me and not care who I was or anything about me. I vowed not to be that way. I’d make it a point to say something kind to people. When it came to marketing and selling, I found myself being as appreciative and kind as I could and not coming down hard as if my job was to punish people into working with me.

Fact of the matter is, I’ve been criticized by a couple of colleagues for being “too nice.”

Isn’t that interesting? To me, that’s like criticizing fresh air for being too breathable.

Kindness counts.

Kindness counts when you walk into a room and don’t dismiss someone because they’re a “nobody”.

Kindness counts when a person just starting out asks you a question, like “What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone like me?”, and you actually take a moment to address them.

Kindness counts when the group you’re around goes on a gossip rampage and you choose not to participate.

Kindness counts when you refer prospective clients to someone else because you know deep inside they’re not the best fit for you and a much better fit for your colleague.

Kindness counts when you speak to your audience with intelligence, respect, and honor. Your audience can be a target market, a social media following, blog readers, a room full of people… they’re listening and following your every word so make them matter.

Kindness counts when you are kind to yourself, watching out for the signs of burning yourself out or not taking enough breaks.

Kindness counts when you’re honest with yourself and the people around you.

Yes, I am a firm believer in the power of kindness. I believe it has the power to transform our lives and the lives of those around us because it reminds us all of what my mom believed every day of her life: imagine each person with a sign on their head that says “I’m important!”

Find a way to be kind today.

 

Are You Successful But Unhappy?

By | Business Motivation, Market Positioning, Uncategorized | No Comments

Yesterday I was talking to a colleague about people who are successful but not enjoying their success. For everyone out there who is hustling to make the money, believe it or not, it doesn’t always lead to happiness. Yeah, nod your head and say “Amen, sister, that’s right!”, but take a moment to feel into this.

**Successful and not enjoying the success.**

Do you know what happens when everything externally says you should have it all together, but inside you’re not?

It stinks. You feel off purpose and empty. But because the money is coming in and all looks peachy-keen on the outside, you can easily stay there and hide. You’re standing there with golden handcuffs on, not sure what to do.

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Last year, I dismantled a high level coaching program that was a 6 figure revenue stream for my business. But… it was my version of the golden handcuffs. I loved my clients, they got results, but there was something missing from it and I knew it had to end. I could have continued re-enrolling people and bringing in new clients, but until I got my head around my own purpose for what I wanted this group to be, I just couldn’t run it anymore.

Yes, it was scary to dismantle this.
Yes, when I told people what I did they looked at me like I was half-baked.

I told myself the answer would reveal itself to me when it was ready… when I WAS READY.

At times I felt a bit panicked and impatient… “Ummm, hello God? It’s been a few months now, I kinda thought we’d have resolution in a few days… I’m getting a little worried!”

The time is NOW. Things are READY.

My Golden Handcuffs are off. I have the clear vision of my intensive work with leaders and impact entrepreneurs. The habits and behaviors I had that attracted in non-ideal clients have been replaced with habits and behaviors to bring in my ideal clients- the visionaries, the change agents, the leaders feeling the need to know who they really are and what’s their unique genius…

OK let’s just let this sink in… golden handcuffs… feeling trapped… breaking free. Can you relate? What comfort is holding you prisoner?

(Originally posted on Facebook)

‪#‎TAGtip‬ ‪#‎TalentAndGenius‬ ‪#‎FeelingFree‬ ‪#‎ComfortableInYourOwnSkin‬

Want to be in on this exciting new program? If you’re a successful entrepreneur but feel like your identity has gotten lost along the road to success, contact me to set up a conversation to explore if this is for you. 

Happiness Explosion

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OK, this is straight from a Gen X-er who used to be uber cool and is now shopping for Mom jeans …reporting in with a simple question: 

What’s so awful about expressing joy and happiness, people?

Case in point: commercials.

You have a couple of hipster 20 somethings acting aloof and cool. Guy usually has some scruffy beard-thing going on, girl has cute bangs with secretary glasses. One of them breaks into a happiness explosion (maybe they just bit into some candy bar or pizza or whatever the commercial is selling), disarming the aloofness of the moment. The happiness exploder laughs, exclaims something ecstatic, expresses feelings to the nth degree… and is inevitably met with an aloof, smug response from the other person.

“Ummmm, yeah?”, she says with sneering eyes of disapproval.

Happiness exploder dials it way, way  down and reverts to smug hipster conformity. Off go the smiles, down go the arms from their victory salute. Happy person stops expressing him or herself and steps into line.

This is so uncool! Why is it happening? Is it a reflection of how people really are? I’m not totally disconnected from young hipsters, I try to maintain intergenerational friendships, but still it leaves me wondering. Are advertisers capitalizing on and reinforcing the drive towards emotional conformity? Is it a trend in society? Mom Jeans lady (that would be me) stands perplexed.

I’m all for Happiness Explosions and personally have them umpteen times a day. The minute Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock ‘n Roll) or  Guns ‘N Roses come on, I’m insane with happiness and kinesthetic gratitude tapping with each toe. Maybe for you it’s hitting every green light, seeing a beautiful sunset, or watching your cat chase a speck of light… but sometimes we just have to get out of self-consciousness and release! These are important ways to stay tapped into our creativity, our zest for life, and our genius. And I assert that if more of us had them, we’d be much more successful in business, life, and we’d be a helluva lot more fun to be around.

Look at Michael Bennett from the Seattle Seahawks: when his team cinched the division championship, he grabbed a police bicycle and started taking victory laps around the field. Did he care if he looked like a little boy having a happiness explosion? No way! Did his actions free others to have their own happiness explosions? Absolutely!

Michael Bennett’s Happiness Explosion

I reached out to my friend and happiness junkie, Susan Liddy. She’s a Burnout Recovery Coach for business owners and executives. If anyone could back me up on this message, I knew Susan would be the one! Plus she expertly ties this into how happiness impacts your success.

Here’s what Susan has to say in support of happiness:

“Happy people think more clearly, solve problems faster, and are more likely to create successful businesses than their more pessimistic counterparts. Author and happiness researcher, Sean Achor reveals in his book, Happiness Advantage that happiness raises nearly every business and educational outcome: raising sales by 37%, productivity by 31%, and accuracy on tasks by 19%, as well as a myriad of health and quality-of-life improvements.” 

“And the good news is that studies show that up to 90% of happiness is well within our control. So often people focus on external reward — validation, money, things to create happiness. Yet studies show that only 10% of our ‘circumstances’ feeds into making you happy. Your attitude, perspective on life, your choices to acknowledge yourself and practice gratitude is what makes the difference.”

So what do you do now? Go have a Happiness Explosion! Take the proverbial stick out from where it’s stuck and release. I can’t wait to hear what that looks like for you.

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Wild Idea: Media Spots That Still Pay Off!

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Here’s another gem from a series I created a while back called The Wild Idea That Paid Off.

The Wild Idea That Paid Off celebrates creative risk taking that defied common sense and netted big gains. In this segment, I tell a powerful story about my own path that illustrates 3 big points:

1. Don’t wait until you know everything.
2. Learn how to improvise.
3. Leverage the heck out of opportunities!

Using this philosophy, I took a bold move with a seemingly insignificant event and turned it into massive media attention that still pays off today. Listen in below:


Note: the link I mention in this presentation to Virtual Chat Series is inactive. To touch base with me, go to www.TalentAndGenius.com Share your wild ideas that paid off in the comments below!

Wild Ideas with Pamela Slim

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A while back, I grabbed a few of my most wildly creative entrepreneur friends and asked them all the same thing:

Tell me about a risky, wild idea you took action on… and it paid off.

I wanted to hear their thoughts on risk taking and innovation… and inspire YOU to take risks with your wildly creative ideas.

Pamela Slim, author of Escape from Cubicle Nation and her latest, Body of Work, is a risk taker extraordinaire. From her days as a high school exchange student to her current fame as a best selling author and coach, Pam’s life is devoted to curiously seeking new ways of understanding the world and ourselves.

Listen in to this inspiring conversation!

P.S. The link I mention to the VirtualChatSeries.com site is inactive but if you’re not yet a subscriber to my list, Click here to get my free training Get Paid to Be You!

Entrepreneur Unleashed Interview

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Patti Keating captured my enthusiasm for all things GENIUS during this great interview we did for her podcast, The Entrepreneur Unleashed.

Patti and I have Facebook messages dating back to the Stone Age, but it wasn’t until this past year that we really got to know one another on a more personal level. I love her!

We’ve shared business ideas, motivated one another, sang Karaoke with a couple of hunky Aussies, gotten our backs walked on by masseurs who spoke no English… so in other words I’ve vetted her for you: She’s one of us!

Click here to listen to the interview she conducted- it’s honest, inspiring, raw, funny and will remind you that YOU are a genius. Just like that!

 

 

W.A.I.T.

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I first learned this acronym when I was training to be a coach. Listening (and letting people talk) are more powerful tools for getting to the solution than lecturing. It works beautifully when selling too!WAIT

Keep this over your phone (if you do a lot of phone work) or in your head as you work with people. It’s one of the best pieces of advice I’ve received!

Use the social share buttons below to put this on your Facebook wall or Pinterest!

I Set Healthy Boundaries

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If you’re a coach, trainer, speaker, consultant, healer or other helping profession, you may feel challenged by setting firm boundaries around your time and availability. Your nature is to help and serve… but you need to take care of yourself too so you don’t burn out.

Your Talent and Genius (#TAG) deserve this.

Here are a few places to start:

1. WORK HOURS
Create a work schedule with your available days and times. Put this in the signature line of your emails so clients see this, and let clients know your hours when they sign up to work with you. Don’t give the impression that you’re open 24/7.

2. WHAT YOU DO/ WHAT YOU DON’T DO
One of my colleagues recently shared a frustration of being asked endless technical questions from his clients. They didn’t hire him for technical help, but somewhere along the line he must have given some technical help because it opened up the floodgates. Set up the working relationship right by outlining your strengths and providing links to resources people can tap into if they need help you’re not qualified to provide.

3. AUTOMATE
We all love the personal touch, but automation can help enforce boundaries. Setting up an auto-reply on your email over the weekend, using an online calendar to book appointments, and utilizing online forums for Q and A are just a few ways to protect your precious time while still helping clients.

4. MODEL WHAT OTHERS CAN EMULATE
Like attracts like. When you model healthy boundaries, you serve your clients. They’ll be inspired to set healthy boundaries in their lives too.

5. BE CHEERFUL ABOUT YOUR BOUNDARIES
Setting boundaries isn’t about being bitchy, reactive, or whiny about what you don’t tolerate. They’re there to kindly inform people how they can best be served. Use phrases such as “in order to best serve you, I’ve created these guidelines”. Put the positive spin on your boundaries and your fear of setting them will vanish.

If you have other tips to add to this, feel free to put them in the comments.
You can also LIKE and SHARE this with your friends!

Grow Your Business With These 4 “Seeds”

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Waiting for instant results in your business? Tired of how long it takes to make a sale?

Before you throw your hands up in frustration, be sure you’ve got “seeds” planted in your business so it grows… even when you think things are standing still.

In this video, I share 4 “seeds” to plant in your business for long term and short term results. Some things take time- and they’re worth sticking with. Share this video with your business owner friends who might need a helpful reminder that even though you can’t always see massive growth, things ARE happening!